03
Aug
Articles, Relationships

Empowering lessons learnt from being cheated on 💋

Posted on by brigitteborelsaladin | 74 comments

Empowering lessons learnt from being cheated on

Cheating sucks period. In every single way possible. It’s probably the biggest middle finger you’ve received, it’s hurtful, deceitful and its gross. For the record, all of the above stands whether your relationship lasted seven months or seven years.

I’m sorry if you have been cheated on. We know you can’t understand their behaviour because it’s never even crossed your mind to act in the same way. There is no doubt that you are a good person, with common decency and you simply expect the same from another.

It all sucks, but help form your friends, long walks and commercial sing along spinning classes tend to ease that pain. And of course, time. Lots of time.

Of course, every unique relationship comes a unique experience of hurt. You’ve got to f-e-e-l those feelings and you’ve got to allow yourself to breathe.

But we’ve got a few lessons to help you go forth and conquer your next romantic relationship without the communication issues:

  1. Internalising rejection is a waste of time.

This is the most important lesson of them all. You can’t internalise the rejection you are feeling. It’s so easy to spend your time obsessing over what you could’ve done differently to make that person stay.

Remember cheating says more about them that it EVER will you. You can go on and make excuses about them stating maybe they knew they couldn’t give you what you wanted or if they learned how to communicate their needs properly you could’ve looked to fill the hole elsewhere. Either way none of it has anything to do with you.

  1. The love of your life doesn’t just exist, the love of your life is built.

The concept “love of your life” has always been something we’re sure all of us have struggled with. We believe getting over a cheating ex can be so hard for so many especially if you believe there’s only one person for you and your cheating ex is it.

For a relationship to work, you’ve got to share the same values and you’ve got to have the warm good feelings when you’re around them. They also need to make you feel calm and safe. Along with wanting something similar out of life to what you do. So, we think someone becomes the love of your life if the above boxes are ticked and they commit to working through speed bumps that arise along the way with you.

Either way the guy who cheated on you could’ve been the love of your life, but he didn’t have the same desire as me to commit to one person. They’re not the love of your life either, but there are multiple people who fit the bill, so you will find another one who is.

  1. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!

You should know your worth, that goes without saying. Even though good relationships take work, you should also know when to walk away. If you feel like you are asking too much from a relationship, remember it’s never too much to want to share feelings without being laughed at or belittled. It’s never too much to received honest, open and thoughtful response to any fears and concerns you have communicated. It’s also never too much to want to be told that you’re valued and loved often.

  1. Get those relationship deal breakers out in the open.

This is important and should be discussed early on in the relationship. Your relationship deal breakers should not be twisted to impress the person sat in front of you. Be sure not to compromise on it to make another happy. You’ll never be able to be the best version of yourself if you do.

  1. You can’t control someone else’s behaviour but you can control how you react to it.

Unfortunately, people cheat and hearts get broken and we have no control of their actions and that sucks. We have no way knowing if they’ll regret what they’ve done or apologise. We do however have control on how we react to the situation. You have the ability to believe that you are going to be absolutely fine if what you thought was the “love of your life” walks away.

Remember you are 100% of everything you need all on your goddam own. There is no relationship more important than the one you have with yourself.

rubies let us know in the comments below if you have every been cheated on and how you have managed to move on?

rubybox HQ

XXX

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74 thoughts on “Empowering lessons learnt from being cheated on 💋”

  3. Kathy W. says:

    It wasn’t the easiest thing to go through and it took a lot to forgive. Healing was such process but time heals. The relationship eventually ended so that was another hurtful thing I had to go through but time, time heals all.

  4. Eza L. says:

    In situations like these, I’m always mindful of my actions and choice of words. If I’m very angry and know that I wouldn’t want what I’m about to say, be said to me. I just walk away until I’ve calmed down. Words for me slap harder than action

  5. Tsitsi M. says:

    Thank you for bringing this topic up. Most of us don’t want to talk about it because of the way we have been hurt but then life has to go on and we don’t need to repeat the same mistakes. Know yourself worth and after everything choose yourself more than anything.

  8. Rosina T. says:

    Been cheated on and lied to,crushed and bruised but I refused to remain bruised. I picked myself and started by forgiving myself for being bruised and I forgave the culprit because at end of it all peace is better than proving a point,iam a woman and stronger than cheater’s

  10. Natasha S. says:

    This is undeniably a Very Deep Topic!!!! I feel for those who have had the misfortune of being in a situation like this which I don’t think anyone is ever fully prepared for. I have seen how hard it was for a very close friend of mine to move on and question but I have always told her she deserves to be treated like a Queen and now she is happily married to her soul mate and a Beautiful baby daughter. Thank you for outlining Important facts to note.