Nov
Articles, Relationships
Empowering Lessons Learnt After Being Cheated On 💔
Cheating sucks period. In every single way possible. It’s hurtful and deceitful.
For the record, all of the above stands whether your relationship lasted seven months or seven years.
We’re sorry if you have ever been cheated on.
We know you can’t understand their behaviour because it’s never even crossed your mind to act in the same way. There is no doubt that you are a good person, with common decency and you simply expect the same from another.
Of course, every unique relationship comes with a unique experience of hurt.
You’ve got to f-e-e-l those feelings and you’ve got to allow yourself to breathe.
We’ve got a few lessons below to help you go forth and conquer your next romantic relationship when you’re ready:
Internalising rejection is a waste of time.
This is the most important lesson of them all. You can’t internalise the rejection you are feeling. It’s so easy to spend your time obsessing over what you could’ve done differently to make that person stay.
Remember; cheating says more about them, NOT you.
You can go on and make excuses about them stating maybe they knew they couldn’t give you what you wanted or if they learned how to communicate their needs properly you could’ve looked to fill the hole elsewhere.
Either way, none of it has anything to do with you.
The love of your life doesn’t just exist, the love of your life is built.
The concept of “love of your life” has always been something we’re sure all of us have struggled with. We believe getting over a cheating ex can be so hard for so many especially if you believe there’s only one person for you and your cheating ex is it.
For a relationship to work, you’ve got to share the same values and you’ve got to have warm good feelings when you’re around them.
They also need to make you feel calm and safe. Along with wanting something similar out of life to what you do. So, we think someone becomes the love of your life if the above boxes are ticked and they commit to working through speed bumps that arise along the way with you.
Either way, the guy who cheated on you could’ve been the love of your life, but he didn’t have the same desire as you to commit to one person. They’re not the love of your life either, but there are multiple people who fit the bill, so you will find another one who is.
KNOW YOUR WORTH!!
You should know your worth, that goes without saying. Even though good relationships take work, you should also know when to walk away.
If you feel like you are asking too much from a relationship, remember it’s never too much to want to share feelings without being laughed at or belittled. It’s never too much to receive an honest, open, and thoughtful response to any fears and concerns you have communicated.
It’s also never too much to want to be told that you’re valued and loved often.
Get those relationship deal breakers out in the open.
This is important and should be discussed early on in the relationship. Your relationship deal breakers should not be twisted to impress the person sitting in front of you.
Be sure not to compromise on it to make another happy. You’ll never be able to be the best version of yourself if you do.
You can’t control someone else’s behaviour but you can control how you react to it.
Unfortunately, people cheat and hearts get broken and we have no control over their actions and that sucks.
We have no way of knowing if they’ll regret what they’ve done or apologise.
We do however have control over how we react to the situation. You have the ability to believe that you are going to be absolutely fine if what you thought was the “love of your life” walks away.
Remember you are 100% of everything you need all on your own.
There is no relationship more important than the one you have with yourself.
rubies, let us know in the comments below if you have ever been cheated on and how you managed to move on.
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I have been cheated on and l learnt that honestly you have no control over someone’s behaviour but you definitely can control how you react to the situation.
Absolutely profound and relevant. Thank you.
Absolutely love this article. We all have been through this at some point in our lives, but I’ve learnt that the only way to love after betrayal is to love yourself first. Once you know your worth you will never accept less than you deserve.
This is definately an Empowering article 💔👏 Great advise!! I couldn’t say that I understand having to get over a cheating partner as I would also never want to experience but it must be one of the hardest situations to deal with 😯
I was once there and have learned that where you are not appreciated just leave. Don’t force things because the actions you will keep on getting will destroy you. So why way for your destruction,? I know it hurts but Let it go and move on. Thank you Rubybox for this article
Thank you for this article, I really needed it
I absolutely love this
Would be possible to create an article about overthinker and how to deal with it when in a relationship
I love this article so much and agree with everything
Thank you for the great article
Yes,my long time boyfriend whom i was staying with he will tell me he has a problem we will spend months without sex only to find out he was dating the love of his lives on the other side,being cheated is not good but i have learn to always read the red flags from the beginning