How To Deal With Jealousy In Your Relationship

Just incase you did not know this already, but jealousy is not a good look. But it happens, even when you’re in an otherwise happy relationship.

According to relationship expert, Terri Orbuch, there are two types of jealousy.

1. The first type is known as reactive jealousy. This kind of jealousy is when you become aware of an actual threat to your relationship, therefore there is something to react to.
2. The second form of jealousy is known as suspicious jealousy. This is when you can’t resist to take a peak at your partners phone when they are not around. Suspicious jealousy occurs when your partner actually hasn’t misbehaved. This is fuelled by your insecurities in the relationship, low self-confidence, or mistrust in your partner.

Jealousy in all its forms can be a natural temperament in some people or it could even be a culprit from your past. To keep yourself from going green with envy, here are some tips to kick jealousy to the side:

Know yourself

Before you go all crazy on your significant other take a step back and suss out whether that feeling of jealousy is based on intuition, or if it’s just anxiety or fear. According to Terri, if you are rarely jealous, your gut instinct likely has more justification, remember this the next time the green monster enters.

Come off the offensive

Instead of causing a screaming match, rather just be open and honest with your partner and tell them how you’re feeling. Talking matters over with your partner is often the best way to determine if you have something to worry about or not. Therefore we advise you to hash things out with one another but if you still feel a sense of jealousy we suggest you consider talking to a professional.

Healthy boundaries 

Jealousy can often reflect unhealthy boundaries. You shouldn’t have to worry about closeness with other people outside of your relationship as it is important to have other people to lean on other than your significant other.

But you do need to remember that it is totally okay to go to lunch with that cute colleague in your office, but texting after-hours is a no.

Take a look in the mirror

Jealousy often stems from being too dependent on your relationship and not having a strong sense of your own self-worth. You need to remember that a relationship does not define you first of all and second of all if your partner did not love you they would not be with you. Stop being so hard on yourself, you are wonderful!

Don’t compare 

Often we become jealous or worried that our partner might be attracted to others because we are often comparing ourselves to those around us.

When comparing yourself to others it is so very easy to find something you don’t like about yourself. Take a second to list five positive things about yourself and carry this list around as a little reminder when need be.

Lastly when jealousy starts to creep up on you, take a moment and reflect back on a time when you felt most loved by your partner. That will help remind you what love is and what love isn’t. X