11 things women need to stop feeling ashamed about during sex
Let’s be real for a second, nothing gets in the way of having sexy, feel good sex like a ball of anxiety or shame bubbling up in your stomach. Anyone with a vagina is taught to have an endless list of sexuality-related things to feel shy, ashamed or guilty about and we are here to tell you it’s BULLSHIT. #getyourfreakon!
Sex is supposed to be one of the times you can tune out and just enjoy yourself no matter the “This is the right way to be a woman” messages society and you might be putting in your head on a daily basis.
Here are 11 things you absolutely DO NOT need to blame yourself for during sex:
Having a higher chance of winning the lottery than of orgasming right now
Listen this is completely normal – not all people with vaginas orgasm during sex and it’s perfectly okay to only be able to do so on your own, with specific sexual manoeuvrings or still not know what get you there.
Getting a sore jaw while in the act
Even if you consider yourself a champion, your jaw can act up during long blow jobs. Yeah we said it! Take a break, use your hands or get creative. Be kind to your mouth, for it means well and has done you no harm.
How parts of your body looks, smells or feels
Just thinking of this – gives us anxiety. But we need to stop worrying about all parts of bodies and the idea of being perfect. We promise that you are HOT just the way you are even if it’s from your labia to your leg hair.
Wanting it to either end quickly or last longer
You might’ve already orgasmed and would like to fast-forward to post-sex snacking or your partner came in what feels like 0.3 seconds and now you’re stuck being a ball of pent up sexual frustration. All we can say is now’s your time to speak up!
Being turned on by taboo fantasies
Relax, as long as it’s not hurting anyone go for gold girl!
Knowing nothing – WE MEAN NOTHING will ever EVER go up your butt
Sure, anal sex can be fun if you’re into it. But there is nothing wrong with knowing deep down in your soul that you will never do it. As long as you don’t feel like you’d be dirty if you tried it – because you wouldn’t we promise.
Having a variety of different lubes for different situations
Use lube, feel no shame and revel on how much better it can make your sex life. Please and thank you!
Pulling out your vibrator
Take it out – get over any potential intimidation you might have and explain to your partner that it’s a fun addition to sex. Not a way to replace whomever you might be sleeping with.
Having a different sex drive from your partner
Ladies honesty is the best policy here. Your partner might be revving to go every chance you look at him and you might be okay with having sex once every few weeks. The only thing we would recommend is that you talk about it to avoid future resentment. But neither one of you should feel bad about the way your body is programmed to want sex, as long as you compromise you’ll still have a great sex life together.
Thinking of safe sex as a non-negotiable
So, you decided to not have sex with some guy who swore condoms don’t fit him? (Please people can put their entire forearms into those things without them snapping, better luck next time) Don’t second guess yourself, feel proud and encourage people to do the same because it’s simply better.
Being flippen good at sex
Why on earth would you feel remotely ashamed about being incredibly good at sex?! Slut-shaming because you learned your sex magic by hooking up with people (how else would you do it?) isn’t cool. Embrace it darlin, you’re fabulous!
This article was originally published on self.com.
Let us know in the comments below if you have felt ashamed about any of things mentioned above?